Its the 4th of July, a day so like and yet so unlike all those surrounding. The small portion of my family that is home, took a little trip down into Cupertino for a beautiful fireworks display. I came home full of joy and so many thoughts that I am wondering how I can possibly process them all.
Most prominent is the reveling in small things, and not being ashamed of it. I am watching my siblings grow up and walk the paths that are familiar to me, being older. It is easy to let that become a reason for scoffing at their "silliness" but today I strove to consciously choose the opposite.
I ate a snowcone. It was deliciously disgusting. It turned my lips and tongue orange. I couldn't finish it, so I dumped it into Asher's (also unfinished) red one. It got spilled onto our blanket. But you know? That's ok!
My favorite part of the night was hearing my sisters scream. After every firework. Eventually I joined in. I was dazzled, as they were dazzled. They picked their favorite kind of firework. My favorites are the ones that go up and fall down like streamers. Especially when they do five at once! Oh yes, they were amazing.
I've always imagined the 4th of July as being such a romantic holiday. But mine was so much better than that. I didn't spend the day with one person, but 6 other extra special unique and growing and precious people! I didn't snuggle with someone who loves me very much as I gazed at the lights, but I held on my lap a little four year old cutie who I love very much and who was so very happy about the fireworks. He told me "whenever I am sad, fireworks cheer me up!" haha. And although I didn't have a strong and protecting hand to hold, I became a strong and protecting hand myself as I took a sister on each side and walked with them, tired, to the car.
I had the simplest day, but well spent and precious in its way. I sat on a lawn filled with people, and saw the beauty of it all, even while it was tinged with irony in ways. After the grand finale, I stood up and swung Asher around and around. He cried, "do it again!" and I spun the other way.
The last song I listened to on my ipod during the wait kept ringing in my ears...
"I can feel something different for the first time. Heaven makes sense. All the words rhyme."
It made sense, and it was beautiful.
2 days ago